Jack Harrison’s Christmas Round Robin 2012
Peter’s talks at the gardening club have been well received. Especially popular was the one–and–a–quarter-hour session on: “Growing dark blue delphiniums in the shade on heavy clay soils”. His gift at the end of the talk of a packet of his own-grown seeds to the three people who attended was well received and the audience left promptly to be able to sow them.
Julia hopes to resume her Bible Classes in the New Year. Although they were much appreciated, one-by-one her students unexpectedly had other commitments and after a few weeks, Julia decided to postpone her Bible Classes for a while.
Algernon was a very good fairy in the school production of “Snow White and the Seven Little People”. Jemima has shown great promise as a scrum-half.
We have all received Round Robins like that. (Did he get his children muddled up?) I will tell the truth in my Christmas Missive – straight up, like! Yea! Know what I mean?
My wife divorced me in the summer. The reasons for this are obscure but might have had something to do with the fact that I had set up home with another lady. 27 years of marriage and a little thing like that?.......I'm still confused.
*Not quite the truth – it takes two for a marriage to fail*
New home is a long way away from the rest of the world – the Isle of Mull, Inner Hebrides, Scotland. A very common phrase used by the natives here is “No Problem”. SNP has nothing to do with politics: it stands for “[I’m] Scottish - No Problem”. There are many attractions of the island: scenery, wildlife, lack of crime, cheap travel. But Scotland still doesn’t yet seem to have discovered DECENT BEER. I am obliged to drink John Smith’s Froth (out of the can), Cava Fizz and other such beverages. Clearly the Campaign for Real Ale hasn’t doesn’t have a Scottish Branch. However, one brand of lager
“Reaches the Parts Other Beers Cannot Reach”.
Family details (and in particular health) are always of great interest to others.
I have:
Arthritic spine
Other mobility issues
Hypertension
Both eyes – glaucoma
Left eye - Age Related Macular Degeneration
Anno Domini
Difficulty remembering where I left my bus pass
Moreover, there are on-going issues with my left knee: it seems to be worn out. It has been libellously suggested (watch for the High Court Action) that the extra wear-and-tear could be that I am overweight. More likely - and I am prepared to accept the suggestion - it is a result of
Pigritia (see:
http://www.encyclo.co.uk/define/Pigritia), a much mis-understood syndrome.
However on the plus side, a daily walk back from the shops in Tobermory carrying my newspaper involves a 40 metre (130 feet) climb. After several weeks practising, I can now do it WITHOUT HAVING TO STOP FOR A BREATHER ON THE WAY. The climb became easier when I started getting the
“i” newspaper, the 20 pence cheapo instead of the much heavier full size version of the Independent (£1.20)
My children have not changed their attitudes since divorce – they remain as reluctant as ever to communicate. I think senior son is training to be an airline pilot. Younger son is training to be a....? Lay-about, job-seeker expert??? Daughter is at university studying politics – a qualification guaranteed NOT to offer many job opportunities after graduation. Still, she will be able to hold an intelligent conversation with customers on the other side of the bar (or at the table).
As for my partner Stella.... fit-as a-fiddle, always-exercising, shuns-junk-food, slim 68 year old. She has an irritatingly healthy lifestyle.
Stella is learning to play the flute. Learning to play the flute. Learning to play the flute. Learning to play the flute. Learning to play the flute. Learning to play the flute. (Thank goodness she didn’t try the violin). I’ll be quite glad when the learning stops and the music begins. I have countered with a harmonica. I can play
“Colonel Bogey” with great aplomb (but not much else – give me time!)
The two cats deserve a mention – Fluff and Minnie (part of the package that came with Stella). They kept trying to break the night-time curfew and were determined to wreck the cat flap in their efforts to get out. A bit of lateral thinking and the problem was solved. See link :
http://i888.photobucket.com/albums/ac85 ... 5a3d2d.jpg
Oh, what the hell. I have outlived both my parents....and a few of my former colleagues. Actually, life is pretty good at age 74.
Jack
