Scandal

[Padfield]

In another breaking story, details are emerging of the government's plans to tax bonus payments. It appears there will be a mechanism whereby bankers can collect their bonuses in full, but the conditions surrounding this are sketchy. Apparently, the government is proposing a scheme by which bankers can "volunteer" for a 6 month tour of duty on the front-line in Afghanistan; they will be expected to pay for their own equipment and training, following which they will be deployed as mine-sweepers along the major roads and on the front-line during assaults. Since the bankers claim to be so indispensible to the welfare of this country, the government is pleased to offer them the opportunity to prove it. Those that survive can collect their bonuses in full; those that do not will share the bonus with their family, Treasury and the combined services charities. Those that prefer to forgo their tour will of course donate that money to the Treasury. Of the £4.5bn earmarked for bonuses this year, the Treasury estimates it will raise £4.5bn from this measure.

Didn't the Reverend Spooner have something to say about warring bankers?

Guy

[NickB]

Something about being a "wit of a banker", I believe.......

[Jack Harrison]

Some of our younger members might not be familiar with the late "Professor" Stanley Unwin. (not to be confused with the Speverand Rooner).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2nI_3VB ... re=related

Jack

[Jack Harrison]

Being (vaguely) serious for a moment, Neil might have hit upon something useful in the fight against The Taleban. Presumably Taleban, being Moslems, find pigs and pig meat repulsive. Now there is a tradition in the British Army to have mascots. Maybe “mascot “pigs might make the Taleban reluctant to approach our Squaddies too closely. Sure pigs won’t help deal with IEDs, but the mere presence of pigs on the battlefield can’t do any harm (and indeed, when they become casualties, they can be put to good use!)

Jack

[Padfield]

Now you're just being provocative, Jack!!

It's bad enough that pigs are still farmed for food (though I must give credit to the UK for having the best farm animal welfare laws in the world). I would renounce my British Citizenship if they were sent out to war...

Guy

[Jack Harrison]

I just enjoyed a chicken and ham pie for supper. Yummy........

Jack

[NickB]

Ah Jack, such a sensitive soul!

[Jack Harrison]

Following Guy’s concerns about the welfare of farmed animals and their possible use in warfare in support of the military, I have managed to make contact with the Head of Meat Procurement at Tesco and received this illuminating reply.

"I would like you to rest assured Mr. Harrison that none of the animals used in our meat products, including our pies (I was pleased to hear that you enjoyed our Premium Chicken and Ham Pie) has ever been involved in serving in the Army. We only source our meat from animals that are Conscientious Objectors. As a token of our appreciation for you concern about these matters, please accept our complimentary gift of 50 club Card Points."

Jack

[NickB]

"I would like you to rest assured Mr. Harrison that none of the animals used in our meat products, including our pies "
Jack

For a moment, I thought it said "no animals are used in our meat products" .......

[Piers]

Now you're just being provocative, Jack!!

It's bad enough that pigs are still farmed for food (though I must give credit to the UK for having the best farm animal welfare laws in the world). I would renounce my British Citizenship if they were sent out to war...

Guy

What do you suppose munitions, body armour, etc. are tested on...? I don't hear of many humans volunteering to be used for ballistic tests on the effectiveness of prototype body armour to help protect our troops abroad...

Felix.

[Piers]

I've got a good one:

In a country far, far away a hapless and grossly incompetent Government, as ever lead by (rather than leading) public opinion, are overjoyed that they are able to blame the mess that the country's economy is in on 'greedy bankers'. Luckily, the general public have swallowed this hook line and sinker; and driven by the current and rather ugly trend amongst the chattering classes of the realm to be utterly obsessed with what the next man earns, 'greedy bankers' are the focus of the public's wrath, with the government being in the enviable position of having to take absolutely no responsibility whatsoever for the mess that the country's economy is in. In a recent pre-budget report the Chancellor of the Exchequer proposed cowardly and populist legislation designed to persecute The City (the core of the nation's economy) while shying away from necessary cuts in public services.

Of course, that's all too ludicrous to really be true...

Felix.

[NickB]

Hang on -
We are talking about Politicians here, are we not?

Q: How do you tell if a politician is lying?
A: His lips move...

I think that says it all!

Of course, if Maggie Thatcher had not made it a personal mission to "smash the unions" and UK manufacturing in the process then we might still make something that people wanted, rather than live with the idea that we can survive on what the City makes, which seems a little hollow following their bankruptcy, both fiscally, and morally as they continue to demonstrate!

[Piers]

the idea that we can survive on what the City makes, which seems a little hollow following their bankruptcy, both fiscally, and morally as they continue to demonstrate!

Quite.

Driven by the government's unsustainable demands for ever increasing 'economic growth' and even more so by the demands of the greedy shareholders for ever bigger dividends.

Strange how no one complained when the banks announced record profit after record profit over the course of a decade, and how the public readily took advantage of cheap credit, and mortgages they could never hope to repay; based upon self-certified income that they didn't even earn.

And everyone thought it was great that their poxy houses were all of a sudden "worth" five times what they had paid for them a year earlier, and keenly wedged their noses in the trough of short sighted greed, even though they were pricing their own children out of property ownership and contributing to the coming disaster.

In a bizarre turn of events no one is complaining more loudly about the losses suffered by the banks than the good old share holders, an incompetent government, and a public with an insatiable appetite for credit. However neither party is prepared to shoulder even one ounce of responsibility; instead quickly passing the blame to the 'greedy bankers' for the mess created by a government's failed economic policy, and fuelled by a nations blinkered desire for short term material gains.

Felix.

[Jack Harrison]

However neither party is prepared to shoulder even one ounce of responsibility; instead quickly passing the blame.....

Quite. If we had forward-thinking politicians, it would be a gram of responsibility.

Jack.

[Jack Harrison]

An old school colleague Robert Sole and I shared an interest in bugs "various" but Bob’s real passion was collecting moths. He would stick pins through them even though they weren’t dead. We didn’t really get on all that well. Not to put too fine a point on things, he was a bit of a t*ss*r. I had more or less forgotten all about Bob but recently I got an unexpected e-mail from him with a query about Elephant Hawk Moths.

Bob’s e-mail address is a classic:
rsole@wildlife.org

Jack

[NickB]

Strange how no one complained when the banks announced record profit after record profit over the course of a decade...
Felix.

Hindsight is always a luxury, but take it from me, I didn't buy into that dream at all. I studied economics in an earlier life and even a basic understanding of the the unbalances in the world economies (exchange rates, trade and budget deficits, UK and US house prices, etc) gave me the title of harbinger of doom at gloom at work...
I have NEVER believed that self-regulated banking is any way to run an economic system, particularly on a global basis as we did over the last 10 years. (See Bubbles passim - South Sea , Darian, Tulip Bulbs, etc, etc)
He who shouts against is drowned-out by those more driven by greed and self interest than good sense. We are all guilty...
N